What it's Like to Live in Takoma Park/Silver Spring: Cheder

So the assignment here started out being  to make a movie about what it was like to live in Silver Spring, but we were given a lot of leeway on how we wanted to do that, so I decided to focus more specifically on my Jewish community. As the video says, I'm a member of a parent taught Hebrew school. I've talked about it a little in my previous post about my bubble.

 The parents in Cheder rage from Atheists to Jews to Christians, all of who want to give their children a Jewish education. Because of this, we get a more diverse perspective from our teachers than one would get at many other more conventional Hebrew schools.

I've been going to Cheder for ten years now. I am the only person left from my class (age group) at this point. After having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, it is no longer required to come to Cheder, so everyone else my age has stopped coming. I continue to go to Cheder because I really enjoy the community it provides. For me, Cheder is a group of supportive families who I know will look out for and care about me. This year, because I don't have anyone else in my age group, I was given the opportunity to decide what I wanted to learn about, so I am studying women in the Torah, a topic which personally interests me.

The video shows clips of each of the classes at Cheder (except for the first and second graders).
The first class shown is leaning about Jewish immigration to America and specifically discussing the role that Jews played in the labor movement.
 The second class shown is learning about Sodom and Gomorrah. The teacher is explaining that the name of a character is not given in the text so one would have to look at the midrash (the rabbi's interpretation of the text.
The third class is of a Hebrew class in which the students are learning the colors.
The forth class is another Hebrew class in which students are discussing the vocabulary for objects around the classroom, specifically the word for floor (transliterated to reetzpah).

The audio from these clips is somewhat difficult to understand. Listening to it at a higher volume could be helpful.

More on Gender

So previously, I've written posts on my thought about gender. Just to reiterate, what I've said in those posts is basically that gender is really just a social construct, something created by the society in which we live to make distinctions between people that often don't really exist. In present day, this is a pretty radical view, but I'm not the only person who feels this way. I thought that today I'd highlight some artists and authors who express this same view.

First I'd like to talk about the song, "When I was a Boy", by Dar Williams.

Dar Williams is a folk singer. She writes songs about a variety of social issues, as well as her own experiences. I had the privilege to see her in concert at my sleep-away camp this summer. She explained that this song was about her experience as a "tomboy" when she was little. This song really captures the way in which gender is something forced on people by the society around them. The speaker in the song talks about having many traits, as a child, which are stereotypical assigned to a boy. As she grows up, she finds herself conforming to the societal expectations of a girl, yet she feels like she has lost something. She also feels like she can't share the way she was as a child with anyone. The same goes for the man who she speaks to at the end of the song.

I think that this song reflects the experiences of a lot of people. No one perfectly fits into the societal ideals for gender; however, our society places such a big emphasis on fitting into a gender (specifically, your biological sex) that people give up pieces of themselves to do so.

Next I'd like to talk about Andrea Gibson. Andrea Gibson is an amazing slam poet. Her poetry deals with gender, sexuality, class, bullying, and war, among other things. I'd like to specifically highlight her poem "Swing Set". The poem can be found on YouTube under the search "Andrea Gibson swing set"; however, the link isn't posted here due to language. Before you continue reading though, please watch the poem. 

This poem touches me in a way that I'm not sure that I can describe. I've definitely experienced some of that childhood curiosity myself, working at summer camps, and just being around kids. Last summer, I worked at a camp for a three week session. During the last week, one of the second graders who I had been working with every morning and afternoon for the full session came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl". A conversation very similar to the one described in Andrea's poem ensued. I got the same question from other campers, one of whom wouldn't talk to me or sit near me because she thought I looked like a boy. In various places, I'll catch a little kid, generally about three or four years old, looking at me and I'll smile at them or say hi. Sometimes, as they walk away, I'll hear, "Daddy, that boy was my friend" or "Daddy, that boy was nice, I like him." Their parents will glance back over their shoulder to look at me again, before giving their child an indulgent smile.

As she points out, it's the adults and older kids who care. In that moment when the parents glance back to look again at the teen who they didn't bother to really notice, there is a look of judgment on their faces that doesn't exist for their kid, as the parent wonders, "is that a boy or a girl". The bathroom incident that she describes has happened to me more than once. And the thing is I live in an extremely tolerant area. It's not like I'm bullied for looking the way that I do. A lot of people don't care at all. So if I still have to deal with some of what she describes in this poem in an area as liberal as the one in which I live, I can only imagine what it must be like for people who aren't as fortunate.

While I agree that (for the most part), young children don't care that much about whether you (as an older person or figure of authority) fit gender norms, at the same time children are extremely aware of gender. Although there is no judgment in the question or assumption that I am a boy, there still is an understanding of what girls and boys are supposed to be like and look like. This understanding, instilled in people at such an early age, has the potential to provide the basis for judgment and intolerance later in life. It also has an enormous effect on the way in which they live their own lives and change themselves to fit into this understanding.

Finally, there is Kate Bornstein, an author, playwright, and performance artist. Bornstein is best known for the books she's written on gender theory. Her books talk about gender as a social construct, moving beyond gender, and her personal experiences as first, a transsexual woman, and then as someone who does not identify with any gender. Bornstein's books discuss gender in a way that is frank, educational, and engaging.  I agree with a lot of what Bornstein says. She basically says what I'd like to say but in a better and more coherent way.  Bornstein has a gender workbook titled My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely (which you can find if you search it on Google books). There isn't that much of it on Google books, but there is a gender aptitude quiz that I really suggest that you take. The quiz really gets you thinking about your own gender and how you relate to the concept of gender.