Orange on the Seder Plate: The Story That You Know is a Lie

It's almost Passover folks, so I'm going to talk about Jewish holidays again.

Passover is a holiday celebrating the Jew's escape from their enslavement in Egypt with the help of their God. This year, Passover begins on the evening of March 25 and ends on the evening of April 2.

On the first two nights of Passover, there are Seders, ritual feast ceremony things, during which the Haggadah, which tells the order of the Seder (it's kind of like a program. In it, there are prayers, poems, the story of Passover, etc.) is read. One of the elements of the Seder is the Seder plate, a plate with different foods that represent different aspects of the holiday.

On a traditional Seder plate, there are:

•  Maror, or or bitter herbs, to represent the suffering of the Jews when they were enslaved in Egypt
• Charoset, chopped up fruits and nuts, to represent the mortar used by the Jew to build pyramids, and storehouses, and the likes, when they were in Egypt
• Parsley dipped in saltwater to represent the tears of the slaves
• A shank  bone, to represent the Pesach (Passover) offering at the Temple (which was destroyed a long time ago)
• A hard boiled egg, which I was always told stood for rebirth, but apparently it's a sign of mourning over the destruction of the temple. 
• Matzo, unleavened bread (you're not allowed to eat anything leavened, like regular bread, on Passover), to represent the bread that the Jews made in the dessert because they left Egypt too quickly for their bread to rise)

If you are part of a nontraditional, Reform or Reconstructionist Jewish community, you may have also seen an orange on the Seder plate. If you haven't, that's okay, I'm going to talk about it anyway.

For the few of you who read this and have heard of putting an orange on the Seder plate, you've probably heard this story to go with it:

Susannah Heschel, a Jewish feminist scholar was giving a lecture, when a rabbi stood up and shouted that a woman belonged on the Bimah (the alter at which the Torah is read) as much as an orange belonged on the Seder plate.

So as a way to show support for the changing role of women in Judaism (and as a way to laugh in that Rabbis face), people put oranges on their Seder plate.

The thing is, that's not what actually happened. Its a much longer story than that, and I promise that the orange on the Seder plate didn't originally mean what you think it does. This is the real story*:

In 1979, A rebbitzin (Rabbis' wife) was speaking about women and Jewish law at a Jewish Women's group at University of California Berkeley. Someone asked her about her thoughts on lesbians in Judaism. She said that she saw it as a minor transgression, like eating bread on Passover (which you're not supposed to do, but in the scheme of things, isn't that bad). The woman's group was later writing a Haggadah for a Seder, and the comment was brought back up. They decided that what the rebbitzin said didn't match up with the experience of the Lesbians in the group. Rather, they decided that being a Jewish lesbian was a much larger issue, closer to putting bread on the Seder plate (an enormous transgression on Passover, which effectively brings an end to it). So that year, the group put a piece of bread on their Seder plate, in solidarity with Jeish lesbians, to represent the way that they felt that lesbians were treated in Judaism (the idea that "there's as much room for a lesbian in Judaism as there is for a crust of bread on the Seder plate").

Susannah Heschel came across this group's Haggadah a few years later, and decided that instead of putting bread on her Seder plate, which she felt suggested that being a lesbian violated Judaism and a sense of hopelessness, she would put and orange on her Seder plate to represent the fruitfulness that lesbians and gay men brought Judaism when they are allowed to contribute and participate. She also had the people at her Seder spit out the orange seeds to represent the homophobia that had to be spit out of Judaism. She mentioned the tradition at many of her lectures.

From there, the story somehow evolved into the aforementioned one about the sexist rabbi.

Bet you didn't know that, did you?

I find it funny that Jews around the country are going to put an orange on their Seder plate next week and they're not going to have any idea where this tradition really came from. I also find it twistedly  ironic that the story got changed in this way. It took something that symbolized the marginalization of gay and lesbian Jews and sanitized it, twisted it into something more acceptable (I'd say that its a lot more acceptable to be a Jewish woman than a Jewish lesbian). What happened to the tradition is exactly what the tradition originally meant to protest.

That really frustrates me. The change just shows that there still isn't really tolerance for the LGBTQ+ community in Judaism.

The current tradition is still nice. It's wonderful that it supports women in Judaism, as a lot of Jewish tradition is very sexist. But it would be nice if there was some acknowledgment of what this all started as. It is not something that deserves to be swept under the rug and ignored.

Photo link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/photos_by_laurence/5636789948/   

*if you click on the link, look at the first few pages of the first chapter of the book

I'm Very Much Done with PFOX

This is a reflection that I wrote for my media class about the documentary which a partner and I spent the last three months working on (with some of the most boring parts cut out). I planned to write something a little more interesting this week, but it just didn't work out. Sorry about that. This post relates to my previous post about PFOX. If you care to look at it. 

I worked with Brianna to create a documentary about the organization Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays or PFOX. PFOX is an organization that advocates for the rights of people who identify as ex-gay, in other words, people who have gone through reparative therapy or other processes and believe that they are no longer gay. It is, in theory, made up of people who are the parents and friends of those who identify as either ex-gay or gay. 

I suggested this topic because last year, PFOX handed out fliers at Blair, explaining their message in extremely convoluted language that really boiled down to “you don’t have to be gay”. As a teenager who is an active member of Blair’s Gay-Straight alliance and who identifies as a member of the LGBTQA community, I was personally offended by the fliers. At the time, I did a fair amount of research on PFOX, but when presented with the opportunity to make a documentary, I hoped I could find out more about their perspective. 

We originally set out to write an impartial piece about what PFOX was and what it stood for. Because of their refusal to talk to us, the piece became much more biased, ultimately being about the inconsistencies and intolerance within the group.

I don’t regret picking PFOX as the topic of the documentary; however, I did find it a frustrating topic. I’m not sure that there is much left to explore about PFOX. There isn't that much information about them to be found. Their is really only two very polarized versions of their story to be found. One by them and those who agree with them, and one by those who are very strong supporters of LGBTQ rights. No one else seems to care enough to pay much attention to them. 

I think that the choice of topic shapes the whole documentary project. Our topic turned out to be about a subject who refused to talk to us and about which there wasn't that much information or b-roll to be found. Because of this, our final product was very different from that of a group whose subject was willing to be interviewed and who had plenty of sources of b-roll. 

One of the most surprising things that I learned from this project is how small the organization PFOX really is. When I began this project, I knew that they had sued Montgomery County repeatedly and had a history of handing out their fliers to different schools. Based on that, I assumed that they were a large and well established organization with a big membership. What became abundantly clear as I worked on this documentary is that PFOX was actually a tiny organization and most likely just a front for the Family Research Council to reach out to schools.

My group faced many challenges in this project, from technical difficulties (we had to try five computers before we finally found one that worked, one of our interviews got deleted, our computer wound up being used to film the school play and went missing for a few class periods, etc.) to issues with final cut (some of our audio clips were individually locked and it took us a couple of days to figure out how to fix it) to issues with the topic itself (PFOX refused to talk to us, there was lots of drama over whether PFOX would sue us, there was no footage available anywhere of anyone in PFOX doing anything but talking) to the fact that one of our group members dropped out of CAP halfway through the project. It was one of those projects in which everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong.

 I’d probably say that our biggest challenge was that PFOX was not an active organization who did much of anything, but was really just a website. Because of that, it was impossible to find b-roll footage of people who were a part of PFOX doing anything besides talking. We tried to overcome this by using still frames and pictures; however, in my opinion, the lack of b-roll made our documentary less interesting.

In spite of all of the problems that we had throughout this project, I did enjoy myself and I did learn a lot, both about PFOX and about the documentary making process. The subject of the ex-gay movement as a whole and groups which oppose homosexuality is one which interests me immensely. Although I completely disagree with their beliefs, I am of the opinion that the best way to counter beliefs with which you disagree is to learn more about the root of those beliefs and the people who hold them. This project has given me the opportunity to do that to a depth which I most likely would not have otherwise. In addition, this project was the first time that I felt somewhat confident in using Final Cut and editing. Overall, although this wasn't the smoothest of processes, I do think that it was beneficial to my experience in CAP.

I Just Want to go to Sleep

This year, Insomnia has taken over my life. In case anyone doesn't know what insomnia is, it's a sleeping disorder. According to National Institute of Health (NIH), "People with insomnia have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or both." Insomnia can be acute (short term) or chronic (ongoing). Acute insomnia lasts for days or weeks and is generally caused by stressful situations. Chronic insomnia lasts for a month or longer. Chronic insomnia is generally a secondary disorder, the symptom of other problems. In rare cases, one could also have primary insomnia, in which case it is a disorder unto itself as opposed to a symptom.

I suffer from chronic insomnia as a secondary disorder to anxiety. Most days I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep. Some nights I lay awake for two hours at a time or more. At times, I am also unable to initially fall asleep.

Insomnia is a pain for anyone. It's never fun not being able to sleep. But when you're in high school, it's especially problematic. As a high schooler, most kids are already not getting anywhere near the suggested 8-9 hours of sleep. Realistically, we're all sleep deprived. On a school night, I normally go to bed between 10:30 and 11:30 and get up between 5:25 and 5:35. Based on time frame, if I were to fall asleep immediately and not wake up until the alarm went off, I would still be getting only seven hours and five minutes of sleep. But with the insomnia, there's some nights when I get closer to five hours of sleep and some nights when I only get four. That's half the recommended sleep for people my age. Everyone has some days when they only get that much sleep because they were up late studying or writing an essay, but for me, this is a regular occurrence.

As you might imagine, getting such little sleep takes away one's ability to function in daily life. This year is a ton of work for everyone in CAP. Sleeping for four hours, getting up, and having to go to school and take a test or write an in-class essay is terrible. According to NIH, "Insomnia can cause daytime sleepiness and a lack of energy. It also can make you feel anxious, depressed, or irritable. You may have trouble focusing on tasks, paying attention, learning, and remembering. These problems can prevent you from doing your best at work or school." Well no duh. Without sleep, it's nigh impossible to listen or focus on what a teacher is saying. I have a hard time formulating coherent sentences when speaking out loud, so one could imagine that writing is difficult. My vocabulary diminishes. There's a feeling of complete blankness when I try to remember certain things that I know I should know, and yet without sleep my mind is unable to come up with the information. And this is not a way that I feel once in while, I feel this way a lot of the time. 

The thing is, my lack of sleep is not from lack of trying. When I get four hours of sleep it's not because I had to stay up late to do something. Saying to someone with insomnia "Wow, you need to get more sleep!" or "You need to try to sleep more," or "Just go to sleep," is not at all helpful. That's not how it works. If I could get more sleep, I would. Believe me, it's not like I regularly get four or five hours of sleep just for kicks.

There are some ways to treat insomnia. Some strategies for dealing with insomnia

• Establish a daily routine. Adding regularity to your bedtime routine by getting ready for bed at a specific time and in a specific order can help to fall asleep and stay asleep. (this is hard to do, given the erratic homework load of CAP, but I'm trying)
• Stay away from electronics before bed. The light from the electronics messes up your sleep pattern. Ideally, you should stop using electronics an hour before you go to sleep. Realistically, with homework, this doesn't happen for me, but it's a good idea.
• Learn techniques to calm your mind. When I wake up, part of the reason that I can't fall back asleep is that my mind is racing. This is common among insomniacs. Methods to calm the mind include meditation, counting backwards from one hundred, and playing a word game in which you think of an animal for each letter of the alphabet. The idea is that these techniques help to calm and focus the mind so that you can eventually clear you mind and go back to sleep.
• Herbal remedies. There are certain herbs such as valerian, chamomile, passion flower, and hops which  are supposed to help one fall and stay asleep. These can be taken in the form of teas, tinctures, pill capsules, and liquids. 
• Exercise. Exercise is important to stay healthy and it is helpful to tire out your body and calm your mind. Exercise can also help to balance hormones which, in turn, can help you to sleep.
• Listen to tapes or music. This can be calming and relaxing.
• In extreme cases, sleeping medication. If you have chronic insomnia, your doctor may prescribe medication to help you sleep. The thing to remember about sleeping medications are that while they may help you to sleep, they often have negative side effects and some can be addictive. 

So yeah, that's pretty much it. Please try to be understanding if someone you know has insomnia and they're having a hard day. Remember, don't give them a hard time for not sleeping. Just be sympathetic. 

Photo link:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/unlistedsightings/2224943329/